BayDad

A short list (somewhat tongue in cheek):

• Projects?  What projects?  Doing things around the house becomes very hard.
• Waking up at 7am or earlier seems normal.
• Going to sleep at 10pm seems normal.
• Video games?  Hah!  Wait until the kids can play with you.  ETA: 4 years from birth
• Blogging?  Only while at work!
• Music?  Your new favorites will be everything from Putumayo, or “100 toddler favorites”.    That’s about as hip as it gets.
• Your dinner time will now be 5pm.
• Touching poop won’t seem like that big of a deal anymore.
• All bodily functions will be discussed in some great detail.
• A fun way to spend Saturday afternoon will be going to play on the slides at the playground.
• Going for a bike ride now means riding for 10  minutes to the nearest playground.
• Thou shalt not leave the house without: Water, Goldfish crackers, juice, diapers, wipes, a change of clothes, 3 matchbox cars, 2 board books, 2 pacifiers, a hat and several jackets and coats.

Some last minute adds:

• You’ll likely not shave every day, through a combination of “oh my god he’s going to swallow that shampoo I better go get him” and “oh my god I’m so tired if I don’t shave I can sleep for 3 more minutes and still be on time”
• Putting in an 8-hour work day will become hard, and seem like somewhat of a chore.
• You’ll begin to “essentialize” everything.  Do you really need to wipe that up right now?  Do you really want to spend the next 20 minutes re-wiring the home theater?  Etc.
• Meals will be designed around how easy they are to eat using no utensils at all.
• You’ll start considering statements like “Ok. Day. Bye” as a genuine conversation.  (i.e. “Okay, I’m going to work now, Have a good day, bye bye!”)
• You’ll realize that nearly every surface of your house has been covered in either (sour) milk, (sour) formula or baby urine.
• You’ll think baby urine is clean and not really worry about how it kinda gets all over everything.

What’s on your list?

This entry was posted on April 7, 2009 at 12:26 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. Tagged: fatherhood, toddler. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.